Narcissism and ASP

Narcissim is a term thrown around a lot, and we do have a lot of narcissism in our culture mostly in the form of emotional immaturity.

Both narcissism and ASD can present with certain overlapping behaviors or traits so it can be helpful to understand the similarities and differences of these quite different relational stances.

Additionally, the underlying reasons for these behaviors often differ. Talk a look at the chart below to compare common traits and how they are often experienced.

Shared Trait: Difficulty with Empathy

NarcissismShows limited empathy as a defense mechanism; may be unaware or dismissive of others' emotions to maintain self-image.

ASDCan have challenges understanding others' emotions, but this is often due to difficulty interpreting social cues rather than a lack of care. However, not feeling with others creates a lack of empathy and emotional disconnection that can lead to narcissistic defences. In both cases, empathy work is beneficial.

Shared Trait: Social Interaction Challenges

NarcissismEngages in one-sided conversations, often focused on self. May appear charming initially but struggles with deeper connections.

ASDMay struggle with social interactions due to difficulty understanding social rules and norms. Conversations can appear one-sided due to intense focus on specific interests.

Shared TraitSensitivity to Criticism

NarcissismHighly sensitive to criticism due to underlying insecurity; may react with anger or defensiveness.

ASDCan also be sensitive to criticism but may react differently, such as withdrawal or confusion, due to literal thinking.

Shared TraitRigid Thinking Patterns

NarcissismExhibits rigid thinking to maintain control and a sense of superiority.

ASDMay have rigid thinking patterns as a result of preference for routine and predictability.

Shared TraitDifficulty Adapting to Change

NarcissismResists change as it threatens self-image and control.

ASDStruggles with change due to discomfort with unpredictability and preference for routine.

 

Key Differences in Shared Traits:

• Narcissism: Traits often stem from an inflated self-image and the need for control. Does not want to take accountability. Does not feel with others in their difficult emotions, too dangerous – avoids shame.

• ASD: Traits typically arise from neurological differences in social processing and sensory perception. Neurodivergent challenges making it difficult to read others accurately, and therefore not feeling with them, rather than not wanting to do so.

Traits Unique to Autism Spectrum Disorder (Not Narcissistic)

1. Sensory Sensitivities

• May be overly sensitive to lights, sounds, textures, or smells.

• Example: Needing to cover ears in loud environments.

2. Repetitive Behaviors

• Engages in repetitive movements or behaviors (e.g., hand-flapping, rocking).

• Provides comfort or helps with sensory processing.

3. Intense Focus on Specific Interests

• Deep, intense interest in specific topics or activities.

• Can spend hours researching or discussing these interests.

4. Literal Thinking

• Interprets language literally and may struggle with idioms or sarcasm.

• Example: Confusion when someone says, "Break a leg!"

5. Difficulty with Nonverbal Communication

• Struggles with eye contact, facial expressions, and body language.

• May not understand the importance of these cues in social interactions.

Traits Unique to Narcissism (Not Found in ASD)

1. Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance

• Believes they are superior and expects special treatment.

• Example: Expects others to cater to their needs without reciprocation.

2. Manipulative Behavior

• Uses others to achieve personal goals, often without remorse.

• Example: Gaslighting or manipulating others to maintain control.

3. Lack of Genuine Empathy

• Struggles to empathize with others' feelings or needs in a genuine way.

• Example: Shows indifference or contempt when others are upset.

4. Envy of Others

• Often envious of others or believes others are envious of them.

• Example: Downplays others' achievements to maintain superiority.

5. Requires Excessive Admiration

• Constantly seeks validation and admiration from others.

• Example: Feels slighted if not the center of attention.

Sources:

1. Autism Speaks
   Website: https://www.autismspeaks.org
   Autism Speaks provides comprehensive resources on autism symptoms, diagnosis, and support strategies.

2. American Psychiatric Association: DSM-5
   Website: https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm
   The DSM-5 outlines the diagnostic criteria for both Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

3. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
   Website: https://www.nimh.nih.gov
   NIMH offers detailed information on mental health conditions, including symptoms and treatment options.

Reflection and Coping Strategies

• Understanding the Differences: Reflect on the traits listed and consider how they manifest in yourself or your loved one.

• Recognizing the root of behaviors can guide more effective coping strategies.

• Developing Coping Skills: 

• For ASD, focus on social skills training, sensory processing strategies, and routine management.

• For narcissistic traits, consider therapy that addresses underlying insecurities and promotes empathy development.

• In both cases, nurturing emotional growth to develop more mature emotional processes such as empathy, compassion, and forgiveness is central in the Personal Growth Model.

Final Thoughts

Understanding the nuances between narcissism and ASD can help reduce stigma and promote empathy. This awareness enables individuals and families to seek appropriate support, whether through therapy, education, or community resources. This information has been written for and will be included in an upcoming book by Darren Elliott.