What is Spiritual Abuse?
Forcing someone into religious practices when they don’t want to.
When someone uses spiritual beliefs to control others actions through manipulation.
The belief that others are evil: If my experience matches what I am taught is evil, just because I am, my self-image and self esteem thinking that I am evil will cause deteoriating mental health.
We need to feel our acceptance and belonging as humans among humans. Being told we do not belong causes psychological damage.
Using the pulpit to further political agendas rather than staying with love and connection.
Promoting a worldview that we are the good people, and everyone else is living in darkness. This is a toxic belief that has open the doors to abuse by conquistadors and the government and Roman Catholic Church abusing indigenous children, dehumanizing them with the belief that non-Christians are savages, treating them like savages. Many died. It was cultural genocide. Others are evil is a toxic worldview. Many are traumatized and living out their traumatized realities, and find safety for love and acceptance at church, our natural human needs. But find themselves where instead of me vs everyone, now it’s us vs. everyone. A traumatized church worldview, a narcissistic worldview in fact.
Narcissists love the pulpit, always have. Many love the pulpit because they are authentically loving humans, narcissists love the pulpit for the constant validation and others believing their delusions with them when it comes to, “words of wisdom” that opens the door to abuse. I have seen it and experienced it often used as invisible manipulation and perhaps so have you.
“I heard God tell me,. . . “ is much more powerful, and they gaslight themselves easily believing their own thoughts. Narcissists over identify with their thoughts.
I believe that churches should preach love for all. Churches that preach fear and Us. vs Them have strayed from the path and made complicated what was originally very simple. Love each other and be go to each other and you will feel happy emotions of safety and belonging and love and connection, and if you do these other things you can get pulled into bitterness and jealousy and guilt and shame, that’s hell. Traumatized church communities have created traumatized realities of a dark evil world apart from us Christians. For me, it’s like they were partially healed from their traumas, finding safety with some rather than generally.
Click below for a free PDF Article highlighting the similarities and differences between spiritual abuse and narcissistic abuse.
Make it stand out.
I work with recovery from narcissistic abuse as a survivor and therapist. As an evangelical who thought I was evil for being gay, I also work with spiritual abuse survivors. I find that recovery from spiritual and narcissistic abuse has many similarities, in fact some of it is the same.
In both cases, manipulation, gaslighting, covert control, overt control, over identifying with thoughts, grandiose thoughts - anything is possible, anti-science, we the good in a dark world the bad, these are narcissistic church cultures. Perhaps yours was not lead by a narcissist, but the system was certainly created by narcissistic individuals and the impact is of invisible narcissistic abuse on those who do not fit.
In both cases, repeated relational traumas of a long-going feeling of rejection, for example, may have created symptoms of PTSD, or Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Whatever the case, if you feel uneasy and you attach it to negative experiences from your church or family regarding spiritual beliefs, belonging, and connection - you may have some attachment issues and trauma energy that continues to impact your mood or choices in some ways today.
Trauma is stored as energy in the body..
Notice what comes up for you when you see this image.
What feelings come up in your body, what thoughts emerge?
Are they feelings and thoughts that you would like support for?
Book a consult with someone who understands.
“If you avoid your negative emotions, then you almost always will avoid others negative emotions as well. This is lack of empathy. It impairs relationships through lack of deep (felt) understanding.”
—Darren Elliott